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What is the point? Why do we have bugs? I really hate them not in a scary kind of way but in a deep hatred of the irritation caused by them. In this section I will list the main offenders and say why they are such dumb ideas.
Crane Fly (Daddy long-legs)
Very irritating!
Natural habitat:- stuck in a closed room.
They fly directly for the nearest wall waving legs in such mind-boggling patterns that you expect they will tie themselves in knots. Once they have found a good solid wall they try to knock it down using brute force, this invariably does not work and ends up with them battering themselves repeatedly against the wall. They don't eat any thing and don't seem to get eaten by any thing. The main point in the life of a Crane Fly would seem to be that it amuses small children by allowing them to pull off all of its legs shortly before it dies.
Wasp
Natural habitat:- small child's ice-lolly or in a jam jar
I hate these not because they are irritating they are just little bastards!
They chase jam jars and children. Will always fall for the old jam in water trick no matter how many drowned wasps are already in there up until the point it can walk on the lifeless bodes of its mates. A trick me and a mate learned was that if you squash an apple in the garden then all the local wasps will be on it the next day at which point we sat and shot them using air pistols and none of them noticed the other wasps getting decapitated!
The other hobby of a wasp is to scare the shit out of small children by flying around their heads buzzing loudly whilst the child's parents scream not to move otherwise it would sting you. This only caused the child to scream louder, as it realises even its parents are concerned. Once it wasp is happy that terror is achieved it will land, either on the child's ice-lolly or on the child at which point the child looses it completely and throes the ice-lolly away and runs away in terror.
Mosquitoes & Midges
Natural habitat:- near bushes
More often than not the first thing you know about these things is the fact that you have the worlds most irritating scratch where you have been bitten. You may see midges as you walk in some woods or just open ground near bushes, in the country they hover in great big clouds almost always precisely where you want to walk you have no choice (They see to that) but to walk into this cloud. So first you take precautions put up your collar/hood put your hands in your pockets try and hide in your jacket basically and then wade in, with any luck they will have just fed.
Mosquitoes are different they amble around by themselves and quite often will let you know they are around by hovering about an inch away from the end of your nose **CLAP** dead you are victorious unless you miss and then they will have you oh yes!
Clegs
Natural habitat:- the back of your neck!
A Scottish invention they are the very embodiment of evil. Imagine a fly the size of a Bumblebee, which sneaks up on you before landing with out you feeling it and then drinks your blood. That is a Cleg, and they are not happy with just drinking your blood oh no they then go and get some mates to join in. you cant help but notice the low drone as a dozen of these things fly towards you intent on sucking you dry. Terror sets in and you grab for the nearest object you think that you may be able to swat them with. Waving it madly you fail to kill them when you hit them they fall to the floor ok but then they just get up and come back! You run in terror with the killer bugs closing in your only hope is to have a mate with you who can watch your back whilst you watch theirs. When I was camping in the Cairngorm Mountains I woke up one morning to find 3 of the damned things in my porch waiting for me! Luckily for me I had my trusty fly spray, they died a slow painful death and they deserved it! By the end of my stay I was a veteran Cleg killer so aware of them I could spot them coming from a mile away and kill them with any given object.
House Fly
Natural habitat:- around light bulbs
Eat nothing and lay maggots. They fly endlessly around the light bulb waiting for the signal to try and fly through the nearest closed window. The signal comes ant the cloud of flies around the light bulb fly into the window and batter themselves to death. By the end of the day the windowsill is covered with dead flies, which then get carried of into the depths of god knows where by spiders who then devour them.
Spider
Natural habitat:- Bathtub
Freaks! 8 eyes 8 legs hairy bastards go bloody mental if they get caught I really don't blame people who are scared of them. They create cobwebs in dark corners in order to scare children or create haunted houses in films. The largest spiders are the size of small dogs and will eat mammals twice their size, if I meet one if those I would SHIT myself! But spiders have good points to they eat flies so good on them hurrah keep up the good work.
blenderbob
I hate mosquitoes. They are the worst thing aver to set leg on this planet. I once found a bunch of mosquitoes in a jar. I threw the jar and the bugs in a fire and let them all MELT. I also dislike fruit flys. There even more stupid than your flying into wall bug. Fruit flies live for only one day and they just flies around I mean what's with THAT.