How Not To Fill In A Claims Form

In view of James Bowles crashing his 4th car this year I have published this.
These are genuine extracts from motor claim forms received by a large insurance office in London

The accident was due to the other man narrowly missing me.

I left my Austin 7 outside, but I came out later, to my amazement, there was an Austin 12.

To avoid collision I ran onto the other car.

There were plenty of onlookers but no witnesses.

The water in my radiator accidentally froze at midnight.

I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.

I collided with a stationary tree.

There was no damage done to the car as the gatepost will testify.

Accident was due to the road bending.

The other man altered his mind and I had to run into him.

I told the idiot what he was and went on.

One wheel went into the ditch. My foot jumped from brake to accelerator pedal, leapt across the road to the other side and jumped into the trunk of a tree.

A cow wandered into my car, I was afterwards informed that the cow was half witted.

She suddenly saw me, lost hear head, and we met.

I was taking a friend home and keeping two yards from each lamppost, which were in a straight line. Unfortunately there was a bend in the road bringing the right hand lamppost. In line with the other and, of course I landed in a ditch.

If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, it would have happened.

I bumped into a shop window and sustained injuries only to my wife.

I misjudged a lady crossing the street.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven't got.

I can't give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the time.

Wilful damage was done to the upholstery by rats.

I blew my horn but it did not work as it was stolen.

A lamppost bumped into my car, damaging it in two places.

The car in front stopped suddenly and I crashed gently into the luggage grid.

The other car collided with me, without giving any warning of his intention.

I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found out when I put my head through it.

I consider neither vehicle was to blame. But if either vehicle was to blame it was the other one.

I looked for the sign but the more I looked the more I could not find it.


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