How to Understand Women


Due to Men often failing to understand Women I have decided to help by telling the true Meaning of all those things that women will insist on describing them selves as.

20-ish = 29
Adventurer = Has had more partners than you ever will.
Athletic = Flat-chested.
Average looking = Ugly.
Beautiful = Pathological liar.
Contagious Smile = Bring your penicillin.
Educated = College drop-out.
Emotionally secure = Medicated.
Feminist = Fat; ball buster.
Free spirit = Substance user.
Friendship first = Trying to live down reputation as a slut.
Fun = Annoying.
Gentle = Comatose.
Good Listener = Borderline autistic.
New-Age = All body hair, all the time.
Old-fashioned = Lights out, missionary position only.
Open-minded = Desperate.
Outgoing = Loud.
Passionate = Loud.
Poet = Depressive Schizophrenic.
Professional = Ball Buster.
Redhead = Shops the Clairol section.
Reubenesque = Grossly fat.
Romantic = Looks better by candle light.
Voluptuous = Very fat.
Weight proportional to height = Tall and fat.
Wants Soulmate = One step away from stalking.
Widow = Nagged first husband to death.
Young at heart = Toothless granny.
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