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AQUARIUS Jan 20 - Feb 18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.
You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined
to be careless and impractical, causing you to make mistakes
over and over again. People think you are stupid.
PISCES Feb 19 - Mar 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being
followed by the CIA or FBI. People love you because you
are BI-sexual. You lack confidence and are generally a coward.
Pisces do horrible things to little animals.
ARIES Mar 21 - Apr
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt.
You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice.
You are not nice.
TAURUS Apr 20 - May 21
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged
determination and work like hell. Most people think you are
stubborn and bull-headed. You are a communist.
GEMINI May 22 - June 20
You are quick and intelligent thinker. You have a minor
influence over your associates and people resent you for
your flaunting it at your peers. However, you are inclined to
expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap.
CANCER June 21 - July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people and
their problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always
putting things off. That is why you�ll never amount to
anything. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.
LEO July 23 - Aug 22
You consider yourself to be a born leader. Others think you
are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain and
dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo
people are known thieves.
VIRGO Aug 23 - Sept 22
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nit picking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and
tend to fall asleep while making love. Virgo�s make good bus
drivers
LIBRA Sept 23 - Oct 22
You are artistic and have a difficult time with reality. If you
are a man, you are more than likely queer. Chances for
employment along this line and monetary gains are excellent.
All Libra�s die of venereal disease.
SCORPIO Oct 23 - Nov 21
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall
achieve the pinnacles of success because you totally lack ethics.
Most Scorpio people are murdered.
SAGITTARIUS Nov 22 - Dec 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless
tendency to rely on luck, since you lack talent. The majority of
Sagittarius are drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you
a great deal.
CAPRICORN Dec 22 - Jan 19
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don�t do
anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of
any importance. Capricorn�s should avoid standing to long
as they tend to take root and become trees.